I came across a video by Mark Manson recently, and one idea stuck with me: emotionally hard is not the same as complex.
The brain conflates the two. When something feels emotionally difficult — ending a relationship, quitting a job, having a hard conversation — the mind starts generating complexity around it. Suddenly you need a plan. A strategy. A framework. You convince yourself you need to read three books, take a course, maybe talk to a therapist first. The problem transforms from "I need to do this hard thing" into "I need to figure out how to do this hard thing."
But technically, there's nothing to figure out. Breaking up with someone doesn't require a methodology. Sending that resignation email doesn't need a 12-step program. The action itself is simple. What's hard is the emotional weight attached to it.
This is where the self-help industry thrives. The brain, looking for complexity, is more than happy to find it — in courses, seminars, apps, and frameworks. Not because those things are bad, but because the brain wants to believe that doing the hard thing requires preparation. It's a form of productive procrastination: you feel like you're making progress, while actually just delaying the uncomfortable moment.
I think this is a useful lens for looking at your own stuck points. When you catch yourself researching solutions to a problem you already know the answer to — that's the signal. Your brain is inventing complexity because it doesn't want to face the emotional cost of the obvious next step.